Time Whispers in my Mind

I actually had almost a whole blog entry figured out in my head last night, and now I can't recall anything other than the fact that it existed. I can't even recall what I was thinking about. I had a cool title as well.

I have just applied for another three or four jobs. Fitted somewhere in the afternoon amongst playing Imperial Glory. I was playing Stalker Clear Sky but got bored as it gets to the Limansk bit. And before that had played a couple of races through to the end (or near end depending upon the boredom factor) in Dawn of War SoulStorm (I can't really stand DoW2).

My bank froze my VISA card 'cos I hadn't paid $60 (minimum monthly repayment). I logged on, paid off a hundred, then wrote an angry message via the website. I got three messages back from Indians that say lots but doing nothing; just like when I call them, get a call centre in India where people talk at you lots but don't do anything for you.

I went to a couple of temples recently, one on Friday and one on Saturday. I have been doing this during the day and during the week up to now, but the Saturday visit turned out to be more instructive - as usual there were no English speaking staff, and no priests, only lay staff (older volunteers doing manual stuff), but there were more people there. I didn't accost any of them because I would not like to be approached by a 'tourist' when I have gone to a temple to commune with a deity about something. But by observing I learnt more than I knew previously. To the point that I actually bought incense and prayed.

Both temples were meant to be to Guan Gong, one is, He is present in the first as a subsidiary deity. I have been using a list from a site by a committed Christian called Timothy at geocities/slowloris9, which whilst I have found to be inaccurate a couple of times, has provided me with more info than anything else that I have found on the web and has lead me to some wonderful temples.

However...

There only remain two weeks to my visa. If no job turns up in that time then it is back to Oz. And I feel that if this happens then I will give up on deities of all flavours and become a pure rationalist. I will still believe in reincarnation because the evidence has been overwhelming, but I will cease to believe that deities are of any value to mankind. So I have thus put the(se) Chinese Deity(ies) on notice.

Similarly, the cards are still telling me to wait it out until the very end. And I will, but if nothing happens by that point then I shall cease to have any faith in them as well.

Faith. That is what I am finding is challenged at the moment.