Preception

I have removed my photo.
I can't believe that I put my picture up when I built this yesterday. It was always my intention to be anonymous - no picture, no name (well, no family name, Kai is my real personal name).

It is time for some history. Not much because I am busy today.
I am packing and have a friend up to help, he has been here for a couple of days and will return again during the week to help for a few more days. He is someone that always offers to help when the chips are down.

Yesterday my family were here; my sister and her two kids (both young adults), my mother and her husband, and my ex, as well as two dogs (in addition to mine). My sister was here to move some of her stuff out, and mum and Noel were here to take some of said sister's stuff to their place to store, James was here to take his stuff and also some of Dianne's (my sister, who I love dearly), Jessie (my niece) was here for, uhmmm, yes, well, she was here as well. As it turned out she spent the afternoon nursing a baby kangaroo (kind of a usual event in this family, nursing orphaned animals and rehabilitating them back to the wild). Maggie, my ex, was here to bring my sister's dog, which then went with my mother, and to pick up my dog, which I got before we became exs.

So, with most of my sister's stuff gone (notice the "most", still not all) and my furniture slowly moving into a twenty foot shipping container parked in my driveway, this house is beginning to feel empty.

I miss my dog. I got up this morning to feed him, but no dog, I feel sad. I keep looking out the window to check on him, but no dog, I feel sad. I know that I have been preparing for this for a couple of weeks, but it is still not easy and I expect this to take some time to assimilate.

History:
When we separated I was working in a contract for the Department of Treasury and Finance and moved out of that into a 'permanent' position that covered both the Supreme Court and the District Court, answering to the two registrars and often meeting with the Chief Justice and the Chief Judge. I had intended to take time off after the separation to 'mourn' but just got swept along by the career moves. After a year there I kind of wasn't getting along with one of the three managers that I had to report to and decided to move on. For me it was more like another one year contract and I never intended to stay longer than one or two years anyhow. I took the job in the first place as a life style choice; less pay but also less hours and more flexible time.
A lot less pay, in fact a paycut of about twenty thousand dollars a year, but paid for public holidays, annual leave, and sick leave. It all kind of balanced out. But when it finished I decided to finally take some time off.

Initially I was intending to take three months off.
It turned out to be seven months.
Can you believe that it actually took three months before I learned how to relax?
I was feeling 'tired' and so kept lying down for a nap but not needing to sleep at all. It was that I was totally unused to feeling no stress. Three months!

During this seven months off I got my passport and took my first trip overseas; from this point on I would be taking an overseas holiday about every six months.

Back to contracting, but after the first contract the client negotiated a direct contract with me and paid out the agency. From now on my 'contracting' rates were to grow and approach 'consulting' rates. But far more important to me is the fact that I am working for myself again, in control of my own financial destiny, with no one but me responsible for how well I do. I love this feeling. I seriously don't think I could last working as an employee of someone else.

So, a few trips overseas, a growing frustration with Australia, and a growing frustration with the taxes that take away most of my supposedly improved income. Therefore a decision to leave and go somewhere else. Although many people tried talking me into going to Hong Kong my heart has really been set on Singapore from the beginning. But a lot of talking and no action.

When the contract I have just finished was coming to an end, my decision to let them know that I would not accept another extension if offered since I was overdue for a holiday, my plan was to holiday in SG. An extended stay, a full month, maybe in a leased apartment rather than a hotel, to see if I enjoyed actually living there. And to lodge my visa application when I first get there, and also to talk to some of the agencies. All of the contracting agencies that I work with here have got offices in SG.

So (get used to it, I use the word a lot), as this contract is coming to a close I come home one night to find something very, very, very taped to my front door (and another copy in the letter box just to be sure). At first I think it reads as an eviction notice, it is in legalese with no plain English covering letter to explain it, but after three reads it seems to be that the bank is foreclosing on the property which I rent.

(I had a block of land that I was going to build a house on, 3,000 m2 with a beautiful view over the countryside, but I realised that planning for that was stopping me from committing to what was more important to me, so I sold it recently, and did quite well from it too, thank you very much. And whilst that planning and building was to be happening I rented a house in the same town, in the country, three quarters of an hour by freeway to the city centre.)

So (see?), now I have a shipping container in my driveway and I am packing my furniture away to store at my mum's place (plenty of room, 800 hectares!). As I write this I only have my six bookcases in it, with the glass removed from the doors, but the lounge suite that is too-big-to-all-fit-in-the-lounge-room-in-this-house goes in next. Over the next week all the furniture will be in it and most of my other belongings boxed and in as well. With what remains of my sister's stuff in last so it is easy for her to get to.

I will be living out of two suitcases. That is the plan. Straight from here to Singapore, then, if my visa is not processed whilst I am there and I have to come back, to a short term furnished apartment in the city centre so I don't have transport problems - I will worry about that then.
(I am still figuring out who gets to use my car that I just bought before this hit.)

As I have put it when trying to explain to friends; right now there is a lot of push, but no pull.

Do you want to know what really cracks me up?
My friends have all laughed their heads off when I tell them this.
The bank is HSBC!